Toxic relationships, those who cannot list at least a couple, past or present, hoping not to be able to manage them in the future. They are relationships with people that we can define as harmful as persticides, in English we find them described with the term "perspecticide", a mix between perspective + pesticide, perspective and pesticide, relationships that want to kill our opinions.
The toxic relationships they can be those with partners, but also those with relatives or colleagues, they are all relationships in which the other wants to exercise control, for example, and wants invade our decision-making space. Manipulators and computers are at high risk, best to stay away to avoid toxic relationships.
Toxic relationships: how to get out of them
The first step is to recognize them, which is not always trivial and which may require the point of view of an external person, who knows us well, and who has the courage to be sincere with us. Realizing that a relationship is harmful, it is necessary to reflect on yourself, understand how and when we put ourselves in the shoes of the victim and what insecurities lead us to do so.
While we seek the originsAt the same time, we can work on ourselves by loving each other more every day, even if we do not always manage to understand each other. Let's put how priority of each day, our needs and our desires, let us remember even on small occasions, to give us value without fear that the other will abandon us. If so, never mind, we are fresh out of a toxic relationship.
Toxic relationships: psychology
THE psychological mechanisms underlying toxic relationships are by no means trivial and, even before that, they are not the same for everyone. It is incorrect and harmful to generalize, but some examples can be given. Some of us are in fall into the "trap" of an abuser who can do it on a psychological, emotional or physical level. The partner, or relative, controls us by beginning to convince us that he is right in all respects about everything.
Our point of view disappears. What often is the sweet and kind attitude is deceptive that the manipulator pulls out, alternating with the aggressive one, sending us into confusion.
Toxic relationships in love
When you live with a controlling partner, you become confused, you no longer have a clue what our personal opinions are and you feel a perennial sense of guilt. A toxic relationship feeds on the sense of isolation that the victim feels and at the same time we continue to push away friends and family to make our tormentor happy. Toxic relationships in love cause you to lose the sense of your ideas, goals and thoughts.
Toxic relationships in the family
Whether it is better or whether it is worse than the toxic relationship whether with a relative instead of with a partner, it is difficult to say. It is also true that when it comes to a parent, it is difficult to separate from him while the partner can theoretically leave. Making a ranking of the most harmful toxic relationships is really useless, each case is separate. In the family, the situation can get complicated because the emotional bonds are intertwined with financial ones.
You see all kinds of them, from the dictatorial mother to the tyrant son, from the abusive sister to the calculating father and boss. When studying in psychology the toxic families the rigid ones are often distinguished from the flexible ones, the former have the toxicity inherent in their nature and therefore unsolvable.
Toxic relationships at work
Even among colleagues can develop toxic relationships even if they remain on the working level. So I'm not talking about fellow lovers but about colleagues who want to control us and cancel our figure. Most of the time, there is no physical violence but a heavy dose of the psychological one which can really lead a person to quit their job, which is not always simple or compatible with the individual's personal and economic balance.
Toxic relationships: advice
We haven't dealt with toxic relationships between friends, but they are there and here's how to handle them, all explained in a excellent and useful book “Toxic friendships. How to recognize them and transform them positively”At 8 euros on Amazon, written by Mireille Bourret.
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